It's an Isbell Kind of Morning

I expected This Is Us to wreck me when I finally got around to watching it last night. It was the What if Dad Lived episode. Anyway, I expected all kinds of triggers, but was pleasantly surprised and much relieved that it did not go in the direction I expected.

I was reminded again how much the relationship between Randall and William mirrors my own relationship with my mother. As touching as that narrative is, it never hits me like any of the Big Three and dad. 

Don't get me wrong, I still bawled my eyes out when Randall called his mom. That talk just leveled me. The things a mother will do for her son. The things a son will require of a mother.

I wasn't suddenly slapped in the face with what my life has always lacked. Not at all.

As I grabbed the PlayStation controller to switch it back to live television, Time After Time comes on.  It is the bookend to Goodbye Yellow Brick Road in the life of me.

It was a deer in headlights. I was already an emotional wreck so I was able to hide the new wave from TGB.

To answer your question, dear reader: pride.

In that moment a conversation I'd had with a dear friend about the noise in her head flashed through my head and I was able to calm myself.

It was just noise.

Yet again, there really isn't a point to this.

Just, please, do check in on your friends who live alone and are quarantined.





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