Tuesday, May 21, 2019

Fucking Hell I Hate That I Have To Do This

More than a few times I've written about finding the funny in dark places. I've made jokes about my wife's cancer, my dad's death, being molested.

Nothing is not funny if you look for it.

Nothing is off limits.

Nothing.

Because finding the funny in the darkest of places in your life is always a win against whatever trial it is that has you in that dark place.

But just because I find the funny in the midst of pain doesn't mean I want to explain the part of it that hurts.

That's the damndest thing about jokes - if you have to explain them, they stop being funny.

So when I put Lucy Liu down I didn't want to talk about it with the fucking world. I told people I knew would be affected and a few close friends.

It's my story, I can tell it to whomever the fuck I want and I owe no one else any part of it.

So I told a joke. A stupid, cringeworthy fucking pun of a shit joke. It made me laugh. It helped.

Just a fucking joke.

I shared the joke and someone else decided to tell my story.

So here we are.

Now I have people commenting and whining about my fucking joke.

So yes, Lucy Liu is dead. I had her put down after she attacked Dexter and put him in the doggy ER.

No, I do not have a single fuck to give about your opinion on the matter regarding my options of rehoming her, finding a no death shelter, blah, blah, fucking blah.

She damn near killed a member of my family. She is lucky I did not slit her fucking throat myself.

That said, I bawled my fucking eyes out at animal control.

She was my favorite dog in a lifetime of dog ownership.

She had one fucking job: DO NOT HURT DEXTER.

Five fucking times she did.

The last time snap a bone clean in half and put more holes in him than Bonnie and Clyde's car.

So this fucking thing has sucked and I had no desire to blast it on social media.

The joke was fucking perfect. It was horrible. It made you cringe, then left you relieved. It got out my frustration.


Remember boys and girls, it is never your place to tell anyone else's story.

Ever.

God I am fucking annoyed.

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