Friday, May 18, 2018

I'm a little cranky

I want to shave Dexter down to nothing and leave him outside in the sun 'til he blisters.

Oh my god, Rudy, how can you say that about a dog?!?

Because saying it prevents me from doing it you fucking whiner.

His anxieties woke me up a few times last night. In fact, I should be sleeping now but, little mcpussyface heard thunder in the distance and decided I needed waked up an hour before my alarm. Daddy, there's a noise in the sky! Daddy! Daddy! Skynoise! We're gonna dieeeeeee!!!!

That little fucker is upstairs panting his little face off in his kennel and Lucy Liu is probably all, mister, why are you making the little guy my problem now? I was sleeping, MISTER! 

You know how you see those racist fuckfaces that have become emboldened by your precious orange leader to be more openly racist? And you know how you think, oh, that's the media making it a bigger deal than it is in reality? And you know how your friends of color are trying to make you understand that no, you're just getting to see what we deal with on the regular? Well, now it's not just happening on the interwebs. This morning alone, in between sentences I looked on the book of faces and two of my friends were directly effected (affected?) by the glorious new era of open racism in this country.

I am so excited for my turn!

I mean, I have had racists fuckfaces in my face before but, surprisingly, not since President Orance Cuntface has taken office.

I have to poop.

Titty sprinkles!

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