Wednesday, May 2, 2018

Down the barrel of the night I’ve got you in my sights

I deliberately have waited to write about touring with my favorite band because, well, I am still not entirely sure I want to share it with the world. I feel very much protective of it, like I was gifted a thing and I want to hoard it all.

I have come to realize that I can keep a lot of the precious bits and still let the rest of you in.
I have always really liked Skinny Lister and when Scott asked me to drive for them I was a little apprehensive because what if they turn out to be assholes?

Turns out, they are not only not assholes, they are some of the most beautiful motherfuckers I have ever met.

I told TGB I want to kidnap Max and keep him forever. She said no. You see a sweaty animal on stage, and he is that. But off stage I don't know that there is a gentler spirit. I absolutely fell in love with him.


But that's true about the entire band.

Sitting in the green room in San Antonio watching Sam and Max work on music and being made to feel like a welcome part of the family instead of chased away... it was how I imagine walking into Willy Wonka's factory for the first time must have felt.

Don't tell Sam but, I was a little intimidated at the prospect of meeting him before the tour. I can't properly explain why but, I think it has to do with him playing a Gretsch and my belief that those are the sexiest guitars on the planet. Or, it could also be that I am just a big dufus.

Turns out, he is laid back and quite funny. You know, in a British sort of way.

Thom was the first member of the band I found myself gravitating towards. I am always drawn to drummers and he is a damn good one. Early on he chatted me up and asked me who my favorite band is.

I don't know if this makes them my favorite band but, if I was told I could only listen to one band the rest of my life I would choose Garbage.

I meant it when I said it. I listen to them religiously and there is not a song I would ever skip in their entire library. But...

Thom was probably the best hugger of the band. That's saying a lot because they all hug and they all hug well.

Dan is so fucking pretty. Sorry Lorna but, there were moments when I would just stare at your husband and get all funny feeling on my insides. I have to credit Dan with making me laugh hardest at any point in the tour.  I think of him whenever I eat pancakes now. Also, whenever I hear the word cunt.

Scott. I have a mammoth smile on my face just typing your name. Always quick with a hug and a kind word, you are so very dear to me. So very dear.


Then there is that Lorna chick. She is in the echelon of badass. I always say never let a celebrity be your hero but, you could do a lot worse than emulating Lorna. That goes for boys and girls alike. Hell, I am a 45 year old man and I want to be like Lorna when I grow up.

Someone needs to put that on a shirt: Be Like Lorna

I have tried to give you all a small glimpse inside the tour and what each member of the band is like as a human; I think it's easy to forget that our favorite artists are very much human. But I have kept the best parts close to the vest. Those parts are just for me. Drive your own band if you want your own memories.

I love this band these people. They were better than good to me.

... after all the time spent with the beautiful motherfuckers in Skinny Lister, I have a legit favorite band. Not even close. Sorry, Shirley.

Titty sprinkles!


Postscript: Because you're wondering about Will. We had a conversation about the awfulness of Bob Dylan's voice. 

I hate his voice. His songs are better when sung by others. 

Well, Rudy, that is an opinion held by people with horrible taste in music. 

I didn't have the heart to tell him he's a better song writer than Dylan and a much, much better voice. 

Thank you Katie for the use of your awesome photos! Go follow her instagram! Every photo is literally a link there.