I'll finish telling you about Portland tomorrow. I want to finish that as much so that I never forget as anything else.

For now, I am home.

It felt like it took forever to get here but, now that I am here I don't hate the things I hated about the road as much as I did while I was in it. Well, aside from crashing a bandwagon into a bridge.

I dunno if I'll do it again. I dunno that I'll be asked to.

I do know that being on the road made me write. A lot. And want to write a lot more.

I know that some parts of being on the road made me sad while others made me want to stop time so I could get lost in a moment.

Tomorrow I'll finish my story about Portland. Chantel really is one of the coolest people I know. I think by the end of it you'll agree.

When I was sitting at Duffy's Monterey, CA staring out at the Presidio sign I realized how different my life would be had I never been stationed there.

I wouldn't have met TGB. If I didn't know you before '93 I likely never would have met you. My time in Monterey changed the trajectory of my life.

Which got me thinking about the life or lives I could have had had Monterey never happened.

Who would I love? Who would be fiercely protective of me the way Kris is? Who would steady me the way Katee did in Chicago? Who would make me laugh so hard my face hurts like TGB does?

Would I be friends with rock stars?

Would I be sober in any other life?

Would I be less of a whore? More?

Did my dad make it out alive in some other life? Was I home when he died or still someplace far away?

Would I regret those things I refuse to regret in this life? Would I even do those things I might regret?

I'm rambling.

But I spent hours driving and wondering about all of the above.

It's good to be home. In this life.

Titty sprinkles!



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