Friday, July 7, 2017

TGB and I had a fight

I may or may not have gotten teary eyed listening to Jason Isbell sing Molotov on the drive. He's a jerk!

He is. That one, more than Vampires, reminds me of us.

NO! You get Vampires, Molotov is MINE!

People have this perception that TGB and I never fight. Well, now you all know the truth.

I've been spending the last week thinking a lot about five years ago.

Quick review for the newbs, five years ago TGB was set to deploy to Afghanistan and ended up being diagnosed with cervical cancer instead.

Our anniversary is coming up in a couple weeks which means the five year mark of her beating cancer is coming shortly thereafter.

We've had one major scare since then. One more than either of us would have liked, but we made it.

For those who are, or may go through it know this: that feeling of dread never goes away. When you are living your life long after you get the initial all clear it is perfectly normal to get scared. Your head will tell you everything is fine, but your heart may race and your eyes may tear up for seemingly no reason whatever.

That is perfectly okay and there is nothing wrong with you.

I handle it by letting that feeling run its course, trying to recognize it for what it is and then getting back to relishing this life I have left with this amazing woman. But that's me and you are not me. You do you and you'll get through this.

I wish I'd been better at a lot of things. I could say it was because I wasn't sober, but I am sober now and I can think of about a dozen things I wish I'd done better yesterday.

I don't really have a point; when do I really?

I'm just preoccupied I s'pose.

Titty sprinkles!