Monday, July 10, 2017

No. I'm Jesus.

I'm breaking out in zits. It's weird. I'm 44 going on 14.

I have made an important life decision, you guys. Whenever anyone posts a pun on my FB wall I am only and forever going to respond with a Katherine Heigl gif.

She is a national fucking treasure.

Me. You will always have me.
I only wish I'd thought of this sooner. 

I only got ONE email warning me about Jayden K. Smith. One friend who is not an asshole and erred on the side of caution for my sake. I see you, Sarah. You got my back and I love you for it. 

All you other motherfuckers need Jesus. 

Titty sprinkles!