Wednesday, July 5, 2017

America

Spent day of the Fourth on the boat.

I was feeling very 'murica when suddenly some English singer was shoved in my face.

But I can tell stories...

By the end of the day the last thing I wanted to do was come home and grill and shit. Then the friends showed up and my tired was replaced by a huge fucking smile.

Also, good drugs from the vet made it so much easier on Dexter. Well, drugs, a bathroom with a fan and Alexa playing some loud ambient noise.

Here's my America story from yesterday:

I took a lesbian couple and their child to the island. At the same time I took an elderly woman and her daughter.

When we arrived everyone hopped off the boat but the elderly woman. One half of the couple helped steady the boat while I helped the old broad.

Please hold my hand, she said.

I never say no when a pretty woman asks me to hold her hand, I replied as I took her hand.

Neither do I, the half helping me said.

The sweet old lady makes it off the boat and thanks me then says, if I was sixty years younger there's no telling which of you two I would go home with.

Fuck yeah. That's my motherfucking America.

Love is love and a person is a human being first, last, and always.

Titty sprinkles!