Saturday, June 10, 2017

This post got heavy in a hurry

I have been listening to Tupac, watching the little cursor blinkitty blink blink for a few minutes now.

Oh wait, Jason is already annoying me this morning. Maybe we shouldn't move to DC.

But Annie's there! (Happy birthday you fucking amazing motherfucker)

But so is Jason.

Ugh.

Benedict Cumonjasonsmomsface.

That one's just for Jason.

I loved a girl a long time ago. She was passionate about life, about me, and whip smart. I loved her so much I boiled over whenever anyone else would look at her too long. It would lead to fights. I was too stupid, too young to understand that she chose me every single day. I knew she could have any number of boys, and even men, but she chose me. Instead relishing that and trusting it, I pushed it with insecurity and jealousy.

I was still a boy and, as girls are wont to do, she grew into a woman way ahead of schedule.

Eventually she grew tired of my shit and walked away.

That next year was one of the hardest of my life.

Eventually, as young love does, we found our way back to one another.

I was nowhere near being done being an immature twat (men never outgrow that), but I had come to realize that a woman is not chattel. I did not own her, she was not my thing. She was a young woman, with a mind all her own. A heart she chose to trust me with. A life that she could take anywhere and preferred my company for the journey.

That year was one hell of a year.



And not just three small words 


It's a lesson a girl taught me a long time ago.

The first time I heard that line I thought about that girl I once loved.

And now when I hear those lines I think about things like sobriety. I think about putting TGB's fears to rest and her hopes at the forefront.

Love is about so many things.

Jealousy is not one of those things.

I guess that's all I'm saying.

I gotta go get on a boat.

Titty sprinkles!

This song makes me happy.