Saturday, April 1, 2017

That was where we used to sleep

My best friend Kris came to stay with us awhile back. We went to breakfast one morning and I happened to be wearing one of the shirts you sent.

I am always a little apprehensive as to how people will react when they see one of the shirts. This is still the derp south after all. But most reactions have been positive.

We walked in and the woman who would ultimately be our waitress stares at my shirt and looks at me and says I LOVE YOUR SHIRT!

I smiled and told her about why I wear them and she told us about her son.

Does he work over at the grocery store? 

No, but I love him too. He's one of my gaybies! 

Her gayby is a sweet kid. I say kid, but he's a grown ass man. Just a man that happens to be young enough to be my son. Ugh.

My neighbor with the barky dog behind us moved out. They were good people and I liked them, barky mcfuckface notwithstanding. So when I saw them the other day I asked if they'd heard if anyone else was set to move into their old place.

Yeah, Devin, the kid who works at the grocery store is moving in.

The two guys who work at the grocery store are known to me as Dropkick Murphy Guy and Gay Guy (aka, gayby).

The gay guy?

Yes! He's moving in in May or June. 

Sweet! We love him! 


I needed bread and eggs yesterday so I went to the store.

Hi, I hear you're going to be our new neighbor. Confused look on his face.  You're moving into the house on 26th?

Ohhh, yeah. I'm moving in the beginning of June or maybe earlier if they have it ready.

We live in the corner lot right next to your new place. 

I see the guy all the time and have never introduced myself so I finally did.

I promise, I will be a really good neighbor. 

I have no doubt you will. You'll be fabulous! 

He looked at me, I looked at him. He knew that I know.

Our new neighbor doesn't even know how much we adore the shit out of him before he's even moved in.

Titty sprinkles!