Thursday, March 2, 2017

This one's more for me than you

I keep playing this scenario in my head on a loop.

Guy cheats on girl. Girl is incensed.

I'm sorry baby, I can change. 

Dude doesn't change, cheats again.

I really mean it this time, I promise I can change. 

Dude doesn't change.

Baby, if you do that thing I like more often I promise not to cheat again. 

She does the thing.

He cheats.

Baby, I didn't know you were going to find out. I wouldn't have done it if I thought it would hurt you. 

She overhears him bragging to his friends that he can cheat whenever he wants as long as he promises to change.

He has a chance to cheat and for once doesn't.

I have the best boyfriend ever! 

She believes it when she says it.

He cheats.

But baby, what about that one time I didn't? 

She remembers that one time and forgives him.

--

That's my brain thinking about #45's address to Congress and the media's response to his one half-decent speech.

He's a shitty president and a shittier human being.

Titty sprinkles!