That's Inception levels of stupid right there.
I got sidetracked by Jim Jefferies telling Piers Morgan to fuck off.
I have it playing on a loop.
It is amaze balls.
Also, Jim Jefferies tried to warn us.
I am drinking out of a unicorn mug looking at a photo of a friend in a onesie on my desk.
There is some deep underlying meaning to this. Something about recaptured chidhood or refusing to grow up. Or, maybe, I'm just a silly man. I dunno.
I had lunch at a Christian Academy yesterday. There was no lightening strike. My skin did start to smoke after about a half an hour, though.
So many awkward teenagers.
I wanted to hug the chil'rens and tell them it gets better.
I wanted to tell the girls, stop worrying about what anyone tells you about how you look. Be you. Be unapologetically you and the people you need will gravitate towards you.
I wanted to tell the boys, enjoy those boners while you have them. Just remember nobody else is obligated to do anything with it without their permission and that permission can be rescinded at any time.
I wanted to tell them both, don't let the world make you cynical. Don't let them feed your fears and make you treat anyone else like less than. And have dessert first every once in awhile. And breakfast food makes the best dinner.
Instead, I laughed at the kid shoving three large slices of pizzas into his piehole at the same time. That kid is going to run this country one day.