Thursday, December 29, 2016

The world is a more interesting place than that

I woke up cranky this morning. It was an hour later than I thought it was and I feel like I drank a fifth of whiskey before bed.

Then seeing all the puns and Steve Martin trending for calling Carrie Fisher beautiful just made it worse.

Steve Martin is one of my heroes so I maybe take it a little personal when people come after him.

Carrie Fisher was a beautiful woman. Acknowledging that does not make anyone a bad person. He did not denigrate her, he said a nice thing about a woman who died. Period.

That anyone took as something else speaks infinitely more about their own shortcomings than Mr. Martin's.

And if you happen to be one of those people who was offended by his tweet, go fuck yourself.

Seriously, close the tab to this post, unfollow me, unfriend me, and go shove a spiked dildo up your cornhole because you are not someone I can be friends with, virtual or otherwise.

But Rudy, we have to stop objectifying women!

Why? I almost got caught eye fucking my wife while she bent over to pick up presents at Christmas. I wouldn't have apologized. 1. she's my wife, 2. she has an amazing ass and 3. she likes knowing I still want her badly.

Yes, but that's different, she's your wife. 

She wasn't when I met her. And guess what? I still wanted her badly.

And when I talked about her I had no problems telling people she was tall and gorgeous. Because that was the first thing I saw. And I still see it twenty-four years later.

In the twenty-four years that I have gotten to know her, she has become even more gorgeous and sexy af because once I got beyond that gorgeous outer layer she turned out even more gorgeous on the inside which only made her gorgeouser (more gorgeous-y? gorgeousier?) on the outside.

Which is not at all unlike what Sr. Martin intimated with the last part of his tweet about Carrie Fisher, you fucking morons.

There is a difference between saying someone is beautiful, or pretty, or gorgeous, and being a disrespectful fucking pig.

So learn how to separate the stuff from the stuff.

Titty fucking sprinkles!