Friday, November 11, 2016

This knot won't go away

I was awake an hour ago. I am angry, sad, shocked... still. I have been walking around in a haze.

You know that feeling when someone you really love dies? Like, your parent, your spouse, your child? That sense of being in the world, but not actually a part of it? That feeling you get when you look around you and want to scream, how are you all able to go on as if nothing has happened?! In your head you know that this loss is something they are unaware of so of course they are unaffected by it. In your heart the entire world has changed for the worse and forever.

That's how I feel.

I have often been accused of being melodramatic, hyperbolic even.

And if you want to write this off as that, that's okay. I am living in my skin, you are not.

One of my favorite things the last few months has been watching a friend of mine brag about his kid getting accepted into all these colleges. His daughter is a ridiculously talented athlete, and equally as talented academic. He is every bit the bragging dad you would expect him to be. And she earned every bit of this. We're talking schools like Cornell and Stanford sending her acceptance letters, man.
I would be bragging my ass off too if she was my kid!

But then, the day after the election, some ugly human beings felt emboldened enough by the new POTUS to call her and her friend niggers.

When I tell you that anyone who voted for Trump is complicit in this, I mean that. He ran on hatred of Other. His candidacy gave credence to those who would hate anyone not white and his win legitimized them. If you voted for Trump, you had a hand in that.

If you voted for Trump, you gave the world of ugly, hate filled people permission to express that hate openly.

I'm wearing my Ally shirt today. It's the first not-work day and I have errands to run. If I feel like shit in this new Drumpf world, I know I am not the only one. I figure I can't hide the color of my skin so, why not fly as many flags to let the world of Other know they have a friend in me.

It was meant to be for the summer and for Orlando. Maybe now I'll just become a walking billboard for any and all of my countrymen/women that let's them know when they see me that at least one person has their back.

Titty sprinkles!

Postscript, voting for a man who ran on a platform of hate and then spending the days following the election posting pithy memes does not absolve you of anything.