Once I had nothing to say

Yesterday marked the two year anniversary of my arrival in Mexico Beach, Florida.

Today I realized I live in the taint.

That explains the hot, moist feeling most days.


Had a guy ask me about the election the other day. I hate talking politics on base because I know I don't lean to the right like a good veteran is expected to. I tried to avoid the conversation, but the old dude was adamant.

I told him I already cast my vote so it was a moot point.

He asked who I voted for. Said he wasn't sure who to vote for and was trying to listen to as much input as he could before voting. I made the mistake of answering, hoping that would end it.

I am stupid.

I was then informed that this country needs Jesus and that homosexuals are an abomination because the bible says so.

I took a deep breath, bit my bottom lip, thought, do not kill this motherfucker and said, I believe in the Constitution and separation of church and state.

I wanted the conversation to be over. It was not.

I was told about faith and Jesus and ... I dunno, my blood boiled and my eyes rolled to the back of my head. I was hangry to boot. I asked what the difference was between wanting to impose Christian laws versus a Muslim wanting to impose Sharia.

Jesus is the one true god.

I snapped, look, that same bible was used to keep people from marrying people of other races, which means my marriage to my wife would have been considered illegal. So you'll have to forgive me for not wanting your faith running my country. 

He apologized. I dunno if he got it or not. But I think he was expecting something different.

I wish I had said, you're religion is an abomination. But I just thought of that.

Titty sprinkles!


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