Is it racist that I can't always tell bald white guys apart?

If you are near Columbus you should go see ThanksKilling The Musical. Also, you should rent the movie.

No, I am not being paid to say that.

Yes, I know someone in the movie and he's awesome people. And he looks great in a speedo.

But mostly, it's FUCKING FUNNY!

I have to find a halloween costume. It has to be kid friendly so I was thinking about going as Jerry Sandusky.

I slept alone last night. Which is to say I slept hardly at all. It's a weird thing that happens when you get used to sleeping next to someone. You wake up in the middle of the night and instinctively reach out for them and it helps you go back to sleep. When that person isn't there you panic for a nano-second and then you're fucked.

At least tonight she comes home around midnight. Or maybe I'll just have Lucy Liu crawl into bed with me. Although, she farts a lot more in her sleep.

Titty sprinkles!


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