Tuesday, September 27, 2016

I forgot the title when I hit 'publish'

Last night a grown-up debated an Oompa Loompa.

That was fun.

My buddy Charlie sent me a brillinatly fucking astute text (paraphrased): I wish she'd stop lying because she can destroy him without doing so.

After the debate Trevor Noah pointed out the exact same thing.

As a reward I sent Charlie a naked Tom Brady jpeg.

The real loser last night was Lester Holt's credibility.

I took a break over the weekend. TGB was gambling away our scholarship money. We were totally gonna start scholarships for Drumpf supporters to, you know, actually learn things, but then she decided to go to Biloxi and piss it all away.

Sorry, dipshits.

It was the cancer check-up trip. I couldn't go for the fun part because I had to work so I drove up yesterday for the actual appointment.

Apple, you need to fix yo' shit. The IOS 10 update fucked my GPS all kinds of up. My phone actually thought I was driving in the middle of the fucking Gulf of Mexico. It was so bad I had to pull over and install Google Maps.

Oh yeah, happy birthday, Google!

Anyway, on the drive I realized I hate not being with TGB in the days leading up to the appointment. The anxiety of it all, that sense of once more into the breach is a burden better shared. Next time I am calling in sick.

I love that my friends are listening to Emily Barker now.

Titty sprinkles!