Thursday, August 11, 2016

It can't rain all the time

The sun has not shined since I don't know when. I walked in the rain to get my haircut yesterday. Dexter took a dump on the living room tile AFTER going outside and refusing to do his business the rain.

Florida is that guy who is too stupid to do anything worth a damn, but he's really good looking so he has girls falling all over him. Florida without the sun is that guy as he let the unibrow grow in, stopped brushing his teeth, wearing deodorant, has a patchy five o'clock shadow, and let himself get fat. Now all that other annoying shit about him (literally everything else about him) is amplified.

Wet dog and mildew.

That's going to be the name of my next album. Or my band.

Fell asleep watching the olympics last night. We watched the ping pong gold medal match.

Fuck you, I am not calling it table tennis.

Both ladies were from China.

It was funny because each player would seem to talk to the ball just before they served.

See the ball, be the ball
What do you think she's whispering to the ball? 

'Go where I tell you or I'll shove you back into the bad place.'

I fell a little more in love with The Gorgeous Blonde right in that moment.

Titty sprinkles!