Wednesday, July 6, 2016

Let's leave Chicago to the Eskimos

I woke up singing I love LA.

Abortions save you 15 minutes on traffic drive times


I do love LA.

I was born there and raised right along the I-10 Freeway.

I also hate LA.

The way only a person from of Los Angeles can.

If LA is a woman, she is the woman you cannot say no to, but regret saying yes to.

If LA is a man, he is the only man who can find that spot on you that makes your toes curl. Problem is, he tries to find that spot on all the girls.

LA will dangle that thing you want most in this life right in front of your face and make you believe you can actually take it. She knows better, but by the time you figure it out she owns half your shit and all of your soul.

LA is not for the weak. It's not for the stupid. It is, however, for those who don't waste their time with things like introspection. That doesn't make them dumb, it makes them narcissistic. There is a difference.

Every time I hear someone bash LA I think, oohh, this must be what Charlize Theron feels when a homely girl calls her ugly.

LA doesn't need you, or me. If you're a singer, musician, actor, writer, creator of whateverthefuck, you need LA far more than she needs whatever you're peddling.

I am not sure why I woke up thinking about the city that made me.

Maybe it's the humidity and the bugs of the Florida summer.

I can't wait for November.

Titty sprinkles!