Sunday, June 19, 2016

There's Still Fire In Your Eye

Happy Father's day to all the mother fuckers who stuck around and showed up when the fun part was over.

A lot of people spend the day talking about mom's who pulled double duty. I get it. I used to send my dad Mother's Day cards. Yes, really.

I miss you
I'm going home in November to mark the ten year anniversary of dad's passing.

A lot happens in ten years.

I started doing stand-up.

I got sober.

I got married.

I moved to Florida. I didn't say all those things that happened were good things.

The thing about having a good fucking amazing dad is that, when he dies, you never stop aching for him.

I spent so much time wanting to be my own man that I took for granted that I was always his little boy. When I got the call that he was gone all I wanted was to crawl into his arms and feel safe again.

And while it is true, time does heal, a healed hole in your heart leaves a large, tender scar. That hole  becomes like a phantom limb... you catch a whiff of dad's scent and it fills for a second until reality sets in a second later and you feel the dull thud.

So come November I will be in LA... visiting the places he used to go... surrounded by the life he left behind and the people he made. There have been new nieces and nephews since he left us, new husbands and wives. More happiness than sadness. That really is all he would have ever wanted for us.

Wherever he is, he's still my hero.

Wherever you are, if you were lucky enough to have a dad that showed up everyday, make sure he knows you love him. And just know, I envy you a little.

Titty sprinkles!