Monday, May 9, 2016

You should see my scars

I miss the days when sleeping in meant almost noon.

I think I got a touch of the sun poisoning yesterday. I know, I know, use sunscreen. Nags.

On the upside, I am a lot darker sexier than I have been in a long time.

To all the people jogging by my house in great shape showing off your hot summer bodies: go fuck yourselves.

Do you ever notice how when your friends have kids they inordinately post more pics of one kid over the others? It happens with every parent I know with multiple kids.

And it doesn't matter if it's the divorced parent with a new kid from the new spouse showing off the new kid while seemingly forgetting the kid with ex-whatsherface or, if it's Mr and Mrs Wevebeenmarriedforfuckingever with their brood of eighty-seven kids, they have the one they love above all the others - maybe the one that got into college or plays sports or is prettier than all the others - and all the other kids are seemingly afterthoughts.

Anyway, Mother's Day yesterday reminded me of that. Mom's posting pics with their other kids, dad's posting pics of their wife with all their kids and me thinking, oh yeah, I forgot you had that kid too. 

It's stupid shit like that takes up my brain energy.

Not, how can I make the world a better place? 

Nope.

Oh yeah, I forgot you have a kid in prison. How's she doing? 

Titty sprinkles!

She just might get out early for good behavior.