Thursday, April 7, 2016

That's the way uh-huh uh-huh I like it

I was born on October 18, 1972.

I wasn't supposed to be born on that day. I was supposed to be born several weeks later. But a near vehicular manslaughter caused me to decide, I'm done being in here! 

Weird thought to wake up to, but it's what was rattling around in my brain this morning.

I wonder how different I would be if I had time to cook properly. As it was I was born with collapsed lungs and got to live the first few weeks of my life in a hospital. Good times.

Anyway, I like boobs and long walks on the beach.

Wait, this is not a dating site profile so just ignore that last sentence.

The other day I was talking about Hurricane Sandy and I accidentally called it Hurricane Sandy Hook. If I had fermented to my proper date I imagine things like that wouldn't be happening now.

In fact, I think I am going to blame all of my foibles on the fact that I was pulled out of the barrel before I had the proper time to distill, or whatever.

Rudy, you're an asshole.

I know, but the part of my brain that gives a shit never properly developed. 

Seems legit.

Titty sprinkles!