Saturday, April 16, 2016

Look away vegans

You know you want to put your hand in the bag


Chili Cheese Fritos omelettes are the best.

My mother and father in-law are on their way to Chez Martinez as I type this. They're bringing me a third of a cow.

My father-in-law has the tastiest meat.

That is not an appropriate place for a that's what she said joke. If she said that you need to run away from her.

His meat means me shopping for a grill today.

Horrible day for me indeed.

I've dated a few vegetarianegans in my time. As a heterosexual Californian it's a sort of right of passage. It wasn't really as bad as it may seem. We each made our own meals and she never was too judgey about my carcass fetish. Her words. I thought it was funny and well played.

Sometimes she would make me bean soup or some other protein rich non-meat. I told her that domestic violence is only ever justified in cases where tofu is involved. It was a good time.

Eventually we went our separate ways. I went farther because she got tired faster.

I cannot wait to have my father-in-law's meat in my mouth.

Titty sprinkles!