Monday, March 28, 2016

I'm high on believing

We have this outcropping of beautiful palm trees in our front yard. Now, I have come to hate them because they are so prolific at making baby palms that rabbits think they need to slow their roll. However, tourists love to stop in front of them and take selfies.

Selfie Central
It amuses me until I have to walk the dogs and try to keep them from pooping in some strangers selfie. Today a stranger almost got a selfie with her male dog being violated by Dexter. It seemed consensual enough to me. There is no photographic evidence of the event, but the lady, who also had a kid in a backpack, was mortified. I was amused.

*Note to self, start taking camera on dog walks.

If she had arrived 5 minutes earlier she could have had a selfie with Lucy Liu leaving a 5 LB forget-me-not right where she ended up standing. As it is, I fairly certain that some of Lucy Liu's ... fragments are now on the bottom of some luck strangers shoes.

As it was, I had to wait on her to get her unleashed dog to go with her as she struggled to get her ass on a too tall bike with baby legs dangling off her back. It was like watching an asthmatic fat kid try to escape a bully. Only the bully didn't want to beat her up so much as make sweet sweet manlove to her dog's face.

I hate tourists. I hate most people. Not you, of course. But that guy next to you? Yeah, he's an asshole.

Titty sprinkles!