Wednesday, February 10, 2016

You down with ODD (yes, asshole)

Why I love the internet reason no. 147: I can read a Cracked article and find a medical excuse for why I am such an asshole. All while pooping. It is a great time to be alive, boys and girls.

Whenever someone announces that they're preggo (mom or dad) I make a snap judgement.

With you as a father you better hope you don't have a stripper daughter. 

Oh my god, your kid is going to be FUGLY, like you and that guy you let stick his dick in you. 

Based on your other kids, I already want to steal this one! 

That last one rarely ever happens because I have mostly really fucking ugly friends.

Once they announce their progeny's new name I get even worse.

Meet Blaine/Blaze/Blaire... (any other BL... boy name)

I hope that kid gets sodomized on the back of the bus by the varsity team.

Meet Siara, Siley, Serendipidee...

She's letting a boy do stuff to her at the 7th grade formal because she wants him to like her. 

Right now there is someone who is offended by this and intrigued by the Serendipidee spelling. That someone should not breed. Ever.

Yes, I am a terrible human being. I am okay with this.

I love you all.

Titty sprinkles.