Messy jammy pants

Today I learned Keith Richards has been happily married to the same woman since 1983. That's one of those nuggets that leaves me more impressed than selling a gajillion albums or doing ALL THE DRUGS.

Keith Richards is a badass is what I'm sayin'.

Someone called me a teetotaler the other day. I honestly had no idea what the word actually meant (or how to spell it) until I hit Google. Now I know. I should get that shit tattooed across my back in gothic font. Hardcore Teetotaler, mothafucka!

It is a little bit funny to me that some people react when they learn I don't drink. I find that the worse a person gets when they drink, the worse the react to me not drinking. I don't think that is a coincidence. Those are the people who remind me, this is why I don't drink anymore.

I'm boring I've been told.
What smells better, bacon cooking or coffee beans?

I ask because my house smells like both and I am nearing climax as a result.

Excuse me while I go clean the mess in my jammy pants.

Titty sprinkles!


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