You were a fucking moron.
I am listening to Motley Crue's first album, slapping Lucy Liu's ass in time with Tommy Lee's high hat. She is not amused. Which song is not important. Every song on Too Fast features lots of high hat. Lots.
Night before last I let the monsters sleep in bed with me. Dexter crawled under the bed to sleep, Lucy Liu slept on the bed with me. It's a King but, she needs to sleep as close to inside me as possible, apparently.
At about 3 AM I woke to a ginormous dog face sniffing my wee human face.
|Yeah, like that.|
The struggle is real.
I was glad to see the Cardinals win last night. Packers fans are annoyingly insufferable.
I was in Vegas at some bar/club waiting for TGB and Kris to get off that ferris wheel thingy they have there (I was invited. Nope, nope, nope!). Anyway, I came outside to get some air and the bouncer had his hands full with two drunk cheeseheads acting a fool.
Fat, pasty, sloppy drunk, midwestern beauts. Curly Lambeau would be proud.
Not far behind came TGB and Kris from the ferris wheel. First words out of TGB's mouth, oh my god, there were the most annoying Packers fans on the ferris wheel with us!
What a coincidence, I said
That is a 100% true story.