Saturday, January 30, 2016

Why are my sheets wet?

I am a little cranky this morning. I had to sleep in my guest room because a certain bitch thought it was okay to piss on my bed.

I'm not a bit... oh wait.
And yes dog people, I take her out. ALL THE FUCKING TIME. Even on rainy fucking days when she refuses to go because princesses aren't supposed to get wet. I hate her so hard right now.

Yesterday someone posted one of those sappy assed abandoned dog stories and I read it and got all fucking weepy like the goober that I am. Then, I gathered up Itchy and Scratchy... er... Dexter and Lucy Liu and told them I will never get rid of you two, ever. I love you both and you're stuck with me. Then I gave them big fucking hugs.

I should have known something was up when Lucy Liu thanked me by stepping on a testicle.

So last night as I was throwing sheets, blankets, comforter cover into the washing machine I thought, is dumping her in the ocean the same thing as getting rid of her?


Don't worry you oversensitive sissies, she's upstairs asleep in her kennel. I may have kicked it as she slept a couple of times. Maybe.

I'm tired and dogs are assholes.

Titty sprinkles or whatever.

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