Sunday, January 24, 2016

Thought I'd something more to say

I cut my wrist shaving this morning.

When I was in the Air Force back in the early/mid 90s I used to get high off Robitussin. There was no test for it and it was a fucking amazing high if you could choke down a whole bottle.

One night, my buddy Paul and I were in his dorm stoned out of our ghords on 'tussin, listening to Dark Side of the Moon. Two 23 year old airmen lying on the floor in opposite directions so our heads could be side-by-side as we tripped and solved all the universe's problems. Solutions we would subsequently forget because we were tripping on 'tussin (sorry universe).

Anyway, Time comes on and I decide that I have to leave because logic has nothing to do with anything when you're higher than Jesus on the Third Day.

I get to my dorm room, get in the shower and shave my balls for the first time. I had to do it.

I got out of the shower, get dressed in the same fucking clothes I was already wearing and go back to Paul's dorm. He let's me in and I can see that he is fresh out of the shower.

I just got out of the shower too. I just put on the same clothes cuz I didn't want you to think it was weird that I ran out of here to go home and shower. 

It's cool. As soon as you left I had to shower to. 

I shaved my balls. 

ME TOO!!!!

Shut up! 

I was standing there in the shower thinking and it just hit me.

SHAVE YOUR BALLS!

Yes! 

ME TOO! 

This fucking weird! 


That was the last time I ever did 'tussin. I think.

Anyway, I am telling you all of that just to ease you into the sad reality that I cut my wrist this morning while shaving.

My balls.

Everything you have just read is a 100% true story. But do not do 'tussin, boys and girls. Your body will hate you for it later in life.

Titty sprinkles!

You want some of this, you know you do.