Friday, January 29, 2016

I never thought you were the kind of girl

Watched The Blacklist last night before bed. That's what I am attributing to the weird nightmare. Sliced someone's throat in a dream just to have them start talking where the slice was. Flip-top head and everything. I was so annoyed I shoved my thumbs into her throat hole to shut her up. It was bizarre.

I love Ricky Gervais.

I don't know if seasonal depression is a real thing or if it's one of those excuses for lazy people but, the last few days have been drab and this morning the sun is out and the sky is bright and I came dancing (literally dancing) down the stairs this morning.

Imagine, a short, pot-bellied, brown Fred Astaire.

I masturbated to Ginger Rogers. I don't think anyone would ever expect that of an adolescent boy in the 80s.

It's like she knows she's all that.

I mean, every hetero boy in my age range masturbated to Phoebe Cates.

I had the best childhood.
But we all have the unexpected turn ons. I knew a kid who masturbated to Sigourney Weaver.

Was that kid you, Rudy? 

What? 

It's just funny to me to think about the unexpected things that turn us on. Like Chucks. TGB wears heels all the time. That's a no brainer, leave 'em on kind of thing. But, she also wears Chucks and over the last couple of years I've caught myself doing a discount double check when a chick walks by in Chucks just like I would if she has that little line running up the back of her stockings.

Quit looking at this post like I'm weird. You know you probably like a guy to dress up as Fat Bastard or, you make him watch gay porn with you as a make up for him making you watch lesbian porn just to realize you really like gay porn and now your pornhub search includes phrases like, army sergeants force private to fellate.

I don't judge you, you freak.  

Titty sprinkles!