Sunday, December 6, 2015

Jewy socks are the best socks

Every morning I wake up to the sounds of a fucking hound dog. I hate that fucking dog with the same intensity that I love my dogs.

I hope a bear sodomizes that bitch and then eats her carcass while staring at her owners the entire time.

I'm a little cranky.

Eight sensible gifts? Awesome! Adequate!

I have Jewy socks. Here is why:

Cards Against Humanity (the greatest game ever invented) celebrates the holidays in a way no company on earth does. Three years ago they celebrated the 12 Days of Christmas by sending out a gift a day for 12 days. I still have my lump of coal. Yes, that really was one of my gifts.

Last year for Kwanzaa they did it again (I forget how many days/gifts). I will always cherish my 1 square foot of private island. It is all mine. Yes, really.

This year they are celebrating Hanukkah and my socks were my first of eight gifts.

The cool thing is, along with the swag, they send additional cards for the game. I love the game.

The cooler thing is that each gift costs whatever you wanna pay.

The coolest thing is that they take the money they make from the holiday gifts and donate it all to charity. Two different hyperlinks for the two different years they've donated thus far.

The last thing you read on their website: You will die someday.

That pretty much sums up why I fucking love them.

Titty sprinkles.

Postscript: I gave them $5 on Black Friday. Here is what they did with it:

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