Tuesday, December 29, 2015

It's all in the subtext

Remember that scene is Forest Gump when the principal bangs Momma Gump and Forest mocks the sounds they made when principal steps outside?


At about the 54 second mark

That is exactly the sound Lucy Liu makes when she has to go outside five minutes ago. I know this because by the time I get to her when she wakes me with that sound there is usually already a mess next to her.

This brings me to my point: it rained last night. She will not go out and do her business in the rain. Won't do it. Cannot for her. She will my arm off trying to get back to the house but, she will not do her business in the rain.

So she slept in her small kennel in the garage. Where her Gumps sex sounds were out of earshot.

That is all I have to say about that.

Onto the next thing on my list of things I am grateful for about 2015.

Sobriety.

It seems like not a big deal. Unless you've been one of the less fortunate souls who has spent any time with me while I am not sober. Then you get why it is such a huge fucking deal. Also, if you have seen me while I am not sober and you are still here, fucking hell you are brave and to be commended.

And while I have been sober a few years now (three in January), 2015 does NOT happen without that sobriety. If 2015 does not happen the way that it did, my life is markedly less than it is right now. And right now, my life is better than I have ever imagined it could be.

Titty sprinkles!


Mmmmmmmmm swinging hips...