Monday, December 28, 2015


Mormon dudes came and talked to me while the dogs were pooping the other day. 


Gave me his card and asked if we could talk sometime when the dogs aren't doing their thing. 

Should call him at 3 AM.

I just fell a little more in love with you.

Hello chil'ren, welcome to this morning's edition of My Morning Dribble. Please don't mind the dog to your left eating her vag. The little one is hiding. He's learned to do his ... eating... in private.

On today's episode we are going to explore the wonder that is living beach adjacent. That is one of the things I am most grateful for in 2015.

I say beach adjacent because I think adjacent means ridiculously fucking close to. If it means something else, replace it with ridiculously fucking close to. 

ex: Lucy Liu eats her vag ridiculously fucking close to the beach.

Lucy Liu is now posing for Doggy Muff Magazine
I am not posting pictures of the beach in this post because so many of you are freezing your junk off, or being carried away by tornadoes or whatever.

I will be in shorts and flippy floppies. Again.

Because I live ridiculously fucking close to the beach.

I guess I don't live adjacent to the the beach in the literal sense. I just Googled adjacent and it says it means next to or adjoining. I live next to the beach in the sense that I can walk to it in the time that it takes you to read this sentence. However, I am not adjoining it. I'm not abutted.

I am a butt.

I amuse Jason.

I made this awesome meme of my beach. 
I need a word that means ridiculously fucking close to without having to be touching or abutted against.

Titty Sprinkles, boys and girls.

Titty. Fucking. Sprinkles.

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