Friday, November 6, 2015

Story 3

You gonna eat that, Lucy asked Dexter.

I just pooped it out, but I also just ate so I'm not really sure, Dexter replied.

Lucy lost interest and started sniffing around the tree a few feet away. Just then, something caught her eye.

Fresh poop! She ran towards asking, is anyone going to eat this?!?!

Dexter looked up at the man and let out an exasperated sigh. I just told you I'm not really sure if I am going to eat that or not!

WHAT?!?! WHEN? Lucy asked more than a little confused.

The man was unaware of the goings on between the two dogs. He was glad to be picking up the poop. At least, that's how Dexter saw it.

Why do you always steal my poop, man? THAT IS MINE! Dexter kicked up dirt all over the man's face in protest all the while screaming, do I steal your poop, man? NO! Stop stealing mine! 

Lucy was just confused. Where'd the poop go? 

The man just stole it! Dexter screamed.

The man did not speak dog so he had no idea of his great offense.

That night as the man drifted off to sleep the dogs conspired against him. They cuddled up with him on the bed.

Awww, do my doggies wanna cuddle with me, he said as he petted Dexter's head and rubbed Lucy's belly.

But the doggies didn't want to cuddle. No, they had nefariousness on the brain. As the man drifted into a deeper and deeper sleep his hands stopped petting and rubbing. That was the moment they were waiting for.

Are you ready, Lucy? 

WHAT? 

Shhhh, you don't want to wake him prematurely! I said, are you ready? 

Oh, yeah, wait. Gimme a sec. Lucy moved so her doggy butt was right next to the man's face. She strained and squeezed, her eyes bulging she whispered, here it comes! 

Dexter was giddy with anticipation!

FRRPPPPRRRRPPPTTTTTTTTTT!! Lucy's butt screamed!

Dexter started barking at the top of his lungs!

The man shot out of bed, took a deep breath and gagged at the foul stench of Lucy's wet fart, he coughed, grabbed his chest and flailed as his heart gave up its last painful beat.

The man collapsed back onto the bed.

Dexter and Lucy howled their laughter as the man lay there dead.

Once their joy subsided they curled up next to the man's still warm body and drifted off to sleep, thoughts of breakfast dancing through their heads.