Thursday, November 12, 2015

Peanut butter jelly time

Yesterday was Veterans Day and everything I would have wanted to say I'd said the year before.

Then I spent the day thinking about what I love about being a veteran. It's not the free food on November 11 every year or the great rates on a mortgage. It's the small handful of people and the pride that came with wearing the uniform well.

I loved the people I served with. I still love them even if I never see them again.

Do you know what a Smuckers girl is, Martinez?

Nope, Na'eem, I do not. 

She's a girl you want to lay on the bed and spread her just like jelly. But not just any jelly, uh-uh, SMUCKERS JELLY, mmmmmmhhhmmmm.

We fell out laughing and whenever we'd see a girl she either was or was not a Smuckers girl.

A Goober girl is something else entirely. Don't be a goober.


A few years later I was living in Ohio and met a girl near Orrville. We talked, she was pretty, whip smart, loved the blues.

So what do you do?

I'm an accountant...

Boring.

...at Smuckers.

The End of a 100% true story.

Titty sprinkles.