Tuesday, November 10, 2015

I hate the Chargers

I used to have this habit of not having the testicular fortitude to end relationships. I preferred to sabotage the damn thing and hope she'd leave of her own accord. For whatever immature reason, I was not going to be the one who ended it.

That's how I feel about the Chargers and if they move to LA, it's their decision to end this relationship, not mine. And sometimes, I really want them to pack their shit and move to LA.


As long as they don't take Joey Bosa with them.

And they never win a Superb Owl without me.

Which they probably will because they're dirty whores.

Oh my god, remember that butt thing you wanted to try but I wouldn't let you? Yeah, I let the new guy try it and you were right, it is amazing! 

So you end up drunk texting, come over. And she's drunk so she does and she lets you do that butt thing and you think, maybe this could work. So you take her back and she never lets you do the butt thing again, but she reminds you that she used to love it with that other guy.

That's the Chargers.

Okay, maybe my football analogy went off the tracks. The Chargers are the worst team in football. And I hate them. And they're likely leaving. And they'll likely win a Superb Owl when they do. But even if they don't leave, they're the same franchise that fired a 14-2 coach just so they could hire Norvell Fucking Turner so ... ya know. And of course, if they stay, I won't leave so... fuck.

I hate football.

Titty sprinkles