Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Sometimes my brain makes me wonder what the hell it was thinking

Living this close to the ocean I catch myself thinking, if I had a boat, I just might go full Dexter on some people.

The sea is such an inspiration like that.

The sharks have to eat something.

With my luck, I would go on a murder spree killing pedos and rapey types just to fall out of the damn boat myself when I'm tossing out the remains. I'd get eaten by sharks. I'm the Mr. Bean of serial killers.

Now there is a movie I would watch.

Tell me you wouldn't watch a movie about an inept serial killer bumbling his way through murder after murder. He'd tried to knock someone out with a needle just to accidentally inject himself and in the process fall over knocking his victim into an unattended chainsaw. He'd wake up in a pool of blood as an EMS tech tends to him, dead vic lying on the floor. Everyone thinks our killer is lucky to be alive while never realizing this was his plan all along.

Everywhere he goes people die accidentally with slapstick hilarity. But we know. We all know.

The tagline would be something awesome like: Murder isn't funny business, pal. Obviously, someone would have to say that line in the movie because, duh.

I need coffee.

Titty sprinkles.