Monday, October 12, 2015

Lick it, bite it, chew it

I used to dance all sexy on the dance floor to This Is How We Do It. It was the song that made everyone want to do it like the west side does. We even changed the words to give a dirty double entendre.

Now it's a fucking commercial schilling vitamins that help you poop or something (I really don't remember what the commercial is for).

This is why I wanted to die at 27. I would have skipped seeing things I thought were cool for what they really are: crap to be repurposed for Godmoney. And also, none of that looking back and thinking, the fuck were we thinking wearing that shit?

James Dean - 27

Jimi - 27

Jim Morrison - 27

Janis Joplin - 27

Basquiat - 27

Kurt Cobain - 27

And the father of modern music hisownself, Robert Johnson - 27

Dead at 27 was a hobby of mine as a kid. I was a weird kid with entirely too much time on my own.

That person has issues


The real reason I wanted to be done at 27 was because most of my life I felt like life was this thing to hurry up and get over with. Like a dental exam or some other irritating thing to suffer through because you don't have much of a choice; you just want to be done with it already.

The psychology of the why and whatfors of it all are long, boring and a bit cliche. We all have issues and we all handle them in our own way. Mine was a complete sense of self-loathing that I still battle from time to time. It never goes away. There is no cure for a fucked up psyche, there is only help understanding and dealing with it followed by a  lifetime of battles with the voice in your own head. Sometimes they're small battles akin to swatting away an annoying fly. Sometimes the battle rages on for days and you have little choice but to take a defensive position and hold on until reinforcements arrive.

I haven't had enough coffee for there to be a point. And by now you should know me well enough to just hold on for the ride rather than figure out where the train is going once it leaves the station.

Anyway, you're not crazy. You're human. Let yourself be.

That's as much for me as it is for you.

Titty sprinkles.