Saturday, October 10, 2015

I would have preferred my life be a John Hughes movie

Last night I was on a double date watching Pitch Perfect 1 & 2. For the record, the it was the husbands who wanted this date to happen.

I was reminded today of when my dad moved us to Upland, CA. I was a freshman in high school, not quite 14 yet. I didn't want to move, but as my dad's pay increased he had a nasty habit of into better neighborhoods.

He was an asshole.

Upland was supposed to be our last stop. It was a fairly affluent little city, gentrified (white), and safe.

Our front yard had a mostly unobstructed view of Mt. Baldy. We could breathe.

Ignore the smog and the amazing mullet
Our second night there we heard that *pop* *pop* *pop* sound my dad was sure he'd never have to hear again. Before the second *pop* I was on the ground.

It wasn't gangs.

Whew!

Our neighbor shot his girlfriend.

I got to my new high school and some kid stabbed a teacher. I lived in Upland, but went to school in Ontario. I literally was on the wrong side of the train tracks for Upland High. Upland High was this white washed gentrified mecca of rich kids, smart minorities (you know: Asians, Indians and foreign exchange students) and one or two brown and black kids.

I was stuck at Chaffey High School. But hey, stabbings aren't as bad as gun violence.

George H. W. Bush came and spoke at Chaffey while I was there. We had this beautiful auditorium that was somewhere around a hundred years old.

Some time after his visit someone shot up the front of that auditorium. So much for just knives.

The middle of my junior year I transferred to Upland High School.

The middle of my junior year there was a shooting at Upland High School. Some nerd walked up to some other nerd and just pulled the trigger. I don't know why. I just remember thinking, fuck.

My senior year a buddy of mine blew his brains out with a revolver.

The day I graduated I moved to Pasadena.

Titty sprinkles.