Wednesday, September 9, 2015

there's blood on my hands

Off to get a haircut. This helmet hair is only good on Mel Kiper and Elvis's corpse.

New park going in behind our house. What that really means is they're cleaning up the woods and calling it a park. Yay, I can take the dogs to poop while people picnic.

Tomorrow I head to Boston to golf with some friends. I am really excited about the Boston part. The golf part is going to look a lot like this:


The Gorgeous Blonde is sleeping, but I went ahead and started the coffee (in case she wakes up and reads this from bed).

While I am away, try not to hurt anyone, burn yourself, kick any kittens. Well, try not to hurt anyone or burn yourself at least.

Okay, I have to go get sexified.

Sexified: made to be sexier, if that is possible. In my case, that is difficult, but I am going to try. I am going to try to get sexified-er.

I think, as a public service to middle aged men everywhere, I may keep my pot belly. If I bust out the six pack every man will hate me, every woman will want me. As it is, I have to fight back the hordes so I think it's in everyone's best interest.

Also, I am a lazy bastard.

Titty Sprinkles.

Fucking love LB!