Sunday, August 30, 2015

The rainbow has a beard

Dribble soundtrack: Disraeli Gears on vinyl cranked to obnoxious levels. I am either having a seizure or I am playing air drums like a motherfuckingmadman.

Ginger Baker - GODDAMN!

Of all the sixties bands, Cream was the best. If you say Led Zepplin, to quote the late great Tupac, fuck you and your motherfuckin' momma.

You never touch me anymore.
I once thought I could be Jack Bruce. Then I realized I was as talented as Nikki Sixx. Only some of you will understand that.

Don't get me wrong, I LOVED Nikki Sixx as a kid, but he was no Jack Bruce. Nobody was Jack Bruce, but Jack Bruce. I was genuinely sad when he passed.

And, while Shirley Manson has replaced Eric Clapton as God, he is still a high level associate. He made me cry playing a single note. On two different occasions. Fuck it, I am polytheistic now, Eric, you're back in the deity business!

True story: I only ever played in a band because I had long hair. I was new at my third high school in the middle of my junior year sitting in auto shop class. Guy behind me - Doug - taps my shoulder and whispers, can you play bass? 

I had a nylon string guitar for an intro class I took (they had guitar as an elective back in the day) and got a D in. So I lied.

Yeah.

Wanna be in my band?

Yeah, but I don't own a bass. 

Don't worry, I have one you can use. 

And that is the story of how I joined Confusion. We were terrible. Well, I was terrible, the other guys were disgustingly talented. But we played a few parties and saw a lot of boobs and drank a lot of beer. What else could a horny 16 year old want?

I have to go put up an accent wall.

Titty Sprinkles