Friday, August 21, 2015

I can see your face in the sun with your eyes closed

Apparently, yesterday's dribble made a bunch of people reassess their feelings about the day before yesterday's dribble. I am amused.

TGB ran three miles last night. Pfft, I swim with sharks. Who's the badass now, woman?

Go sign up for my fantasy football league. It's free: The League Of Morons. The password is: leagueofdorks50.

I've been writing a screenplay about a girl finding her inner badass, music, and a gay black dude named Sven. In a few months I am going to ask you for money. No, not through gofundme or whatever, I am literally going to show up at your house with a few goons, guns, and baseball bats. So be ready.

Planned Parenthood: Making the world better through subtraction.
If I should die before The Gorgeous Blonde, I don't want her to waste too much time mourning me. Especially if I die young-ish (like, in the next ten years months or so).

I want her to live. I want her to fall in love passionately, laugh so hard it hurts, be truly alive.

That is precisely what life is for.

I don't care if it happens an hour or a year after I am gone.

As for our friends, if you see her having the audacity to be happy you better fucking embrace it or I will bring demons from my level of hell and fuck your shit up.

Titty Sprinkles