Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Year three is appetizers, right?

Last night as we drifted off to sleep I looked over at the Gorgeous Blonde and reminded her that three years ago was the last night she was ever single.

Mmmmm, Vegas.

Oh, right, you were a gambling degenerate, not a whore. 

She is still a gambling degenerate; next month we are going straight to a casino after her cancer check-up.

In the three years I have been married to this woman I have learned more about myself than her. That could be because the thing I love most in this world is me, but on this, the day of our anniversary, I am going to give her the credit.

What have you learned about yourself, Rudy?

I'm glad the seven of you asked.

I've learned that I am a better husband when I'm sober.

I've learned that sometimes just saying, I miss you when you're not here instead of bitching about the times she isn't with me goes a much longer way.

I've learned that I am far more inclined to sing badly to my stupid dog than my wife almost entirely because I can sing to my dog without weeping like the massive weeper that I am. I know because I've tried it.

I've learned to let a woman take care of me from time to time.

I've become a far more vocal fan of women in general. My wife, who really isn't a fan of the word feminist, has turned me into a fucking feminist.

I'm still learning to stop sabotaging my own happiness, but I suspect that is a lesson learned over a lifetime.

I've learned that a woman ain't no sometime thing.

I've learned that enemy combatants come in all sizes and that sometimes the smallest of them are the scariest.

I've learned that I would like to live a really long time. This happiness shit, yeah, I want more of that.

I've come to accept that I will never be worthy of the Gorgeous Blonde. A good woman is never a destination or a conquest, the best ones are the ones you aspire to. A good woman reminds you that though you may be out of her league, she picked you for a reason so live up to it.

How lucky is she? 
Maybe I'll spend the next three years learning about her.

Anyway, we're spending the day with Amy Schumer (her request) and Applebee's (they made special arrangements just for us.)