Oh, right, you were a gambling degenerate, not a whore.
She is still a gambling degenerate; next month we are going straight to a casino after her cancer check-up.
In the three years I have been married to this woman I have learned more about myself than her. That could be because the thing I love most in this world is me, but on this, the day of our anniversary, I am going to give her the credit.
What have you learned about yourself, Rudy?
I'm glad the seven of you asked.
I've learned that I am a better husband when I'm sober.
I've learned that sometimes just saying, I miss you when you're not here instead of bitching about the times she isn't with me goes a much longer way.
I've learned that I am far more inclined to sing badly to my stupid dog than my wife almost entirely because I can sing to my dog without weeping like the massive weeper that I am. I know because I've tried it.
I've learned to let a woman take care of me from time to time.
I've become a far more vocal fan of women in general. My wife, who really isn't a fan of the word feminist, has turned me into a fucking feminist.
I'm still learning to stop sabotaging my own happiness, but I suspect that is a lesson learned over a lifetime.
I've learned that a woman ain't no sometime thing.
I've learned that enemy combatants come in all sizes and that sometimes the smallest of them are the scariest.
I've learned that I would like to live a really long time. This happiness shit, yeah, I want more of that.
I've come to accept that I will never be worthy of the Gorgeous Blonde. A good woman is never a destination or a conquest, the best ones are the ones you aspire to. A good woman reminds you that though you may be out of her league, she picked you for a reason so live up to it.
|How lucky is she?|
Anyway, we're spending the day with Amy Schumer (her request) and Applebee's (they made special arrangements just for us.)