I don't know any of the lyrics to this song

I'm a slut.

I say that because 1. it's true, and 2. nobody cares because I am not a woman. Although, some guys think I'm pretty awesome because of it.

Yesterday a buddy of mine posted a picture of himself with Amy Schumer. It took all of four comments before someone called her a slut. (For those who like to parse words, no, he did not say the words "Amy Schumer is a slut, he said, How's it feel to be the only guy who hasn't fucked her?)

Personally, I have always gravitated towards the women guys like him might call a slut. I like a woman who enjoys her sexuality unapologetically and knows what she's doing.

I always wonder what the magic number is for a woman to fall into the slut category. Is there some sort of formula for it? Do we need verification of all sexual partners in order to meet slut criteria? Whatever it is, why is it different for women? Does a woman's success play into it?

What I mean by that last question is, does the fact that a woman is successful make her slut bar even lower to adjust for the male ego?

I know, I know, Amy Schumer opens herself up to it because she has the audacity to talk about her sex life on stage. I mean, Remember how we all slut shamed Andrew Dice Clay for talking about some chick sucking his cock and having his tongue in a chick's ass? No? Oh. Umm, how about that time that one comedian made a joke about hiring a hooker for his buddy, remember how we dogged him for paying for sex? No? Oh.

Amy Schumer doesn't need me to be some fucking knight in shimmering tinfoil for her, I know that. I think it was more TGB's reaction (she's the one who made me aware of the post in the first place) that set me off. Seeing what would have otherwise been a benign comment, to me, through the eyes of a successful woman whom I just happen to love is a startling wake up.

The Gorgeous Blonde doesn't need me to be a hero, either, I know.

Apparently, Jason Isbell has a new album out.


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