Sunday, June 14, 2015

Flags and bibles. How very patriotic.

I slept in and now the dogs are looking at me like they are going to explode. Never mind that once we get out there the slightest distraction causes everything to crawl back up and all our walking is for naught. They can wait ten minutes.

I never understood flag day, but happy that if you celebrate it. Yay all the pictures of hot chicks draped in flags today! Also, that's a desecration of the flag every bit as much as burning and walking on it so, don't let's be hypocrites boys and girls.

I have a lot of Jesus books in my library. More fucking bibles than our local church, and myriad other devotions, prayer books, theology tomes and even the shit Left Behind collection. I grew up in church and considered entering the ministry.

James Bond and Jesus walk into a bar. "Ouch! That fucking hurts," Bond said. Jesus wept. Bond thought, "well, he's a pussy."
I became an atheist/agnostic/whatever over the course of several years and for many different reasons. Chief among them was that I always felt like I was faking it. Don't get me wrong, the guilt I felt was very, very real. What felt disingenuous for me was the whole communing with the holy spirit/close to god part of it all. I never felt anything really. But imitation is easy enough.

I only ever felt anything resembling a closeness to god when I would sit at the edge of the ocean alone. That is the one time I feel most connected to, well, life, the universe, and everything.

I thought that was what it meant to feel close to god. I still feel that way when I sit at the edge of the ocean. But god has nothing to do with it. I feel a part of something much bigger than any mere god.

I was in love with a girl. She was the single most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I thought, this is the face of God. Then I thought, is it weird that I want to mash my dick into the face of God?

Lucy Liu and Dexter need to poo.