Sunday, June 7, 2015

Every time I hear a siren I think, 'one less old person.'

WWLDD. The correct answer was not What Would Lena Dunham Do, sorry. The first person who got the correct answer of What Would Loyd Dobler Do is a woman we should all pity because she's stuck living in Texas. Her prize is more of me: a signed copy of my dvd. Yeah, I'm a surprised as you are that I have a dvd.

I used to work for a family business and the wife would make coffee in the morning then spend the day patting herself on the back for being so great her employees. She was a twat, but whatever. Then I got hired and learned she made coffee so weak Olive Oyl could kick its ass. I remedied the situation by dumping out her swill and making real coffee. She cried. Literally fucking cried.

There is no point to that story. I just wanted to tell you about the time I made a grown ass woman cry because she made shitty coffee.

I did not work there long.

Reverend Rudy, bitches!
I was walking on the beach yesterday thinking about where I live. Relative to the rest of the South, it's a bit of an outlier in that we just voted a progressive representative to congress. That got me to thinking about what it would take to turn Mexico Beach, FL into a sort of same-sex marriage destination. I would officiate on the beach and this little section of the South would be inundated with fabulousness. Heads would explode on the Redneck Riviera.

This has to happen.