Friday, May 22, 2015


The seven of you know that I hate puns. They're lazy, eye-roll inducing, and very dad-ish. And not the sexy dad all your female friends get moist over; that fanny-pack wearing, socks with sandals dad.

I woke up to a pun from a child this morning. My heart told me to call Children's Services, or even the police. Who does that to a child? Who raises an innocent lamb to think puns are acceptable? I'll tell you who: heathens.

I'm hungry, not amused.
If you are the praying type, pray for this child. If you are the whiney protesting type, raise up a placard on corners across this great country of ours. If you're a lazy bastard who has no desire to think about what to write this morning, well... you're me so... go on with your bad self.

When considering whether or not something is funny ask one question: is this a joke Louis CK would tell? If the answer is NO then your joke is not funny. Louis never tells puns.

Titty sprinkles.

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