Saturday, May 30, 2015

Christopher Cross in an Earl Campbell jersey. Your argument is invalid.

What is time that you can put something upon it even once?

When I don't have coffee (or I am high) that is the shit my brain ponders. It's Dexter's fault for waking me with his shrill, ungodly bark. Fuck! The neighbors going to work, I say!!!

In unrelated news, I have a free dog available to a good home.

I am in the process of getting my boating safety certificate. It's a dull process so I had to stop halfway through yesterday, but once I complete it I can rent a boat from the base and go a sailing.

I love the sea. I love women more, that's why I ultimately chose the Air Force over the Navy. I didn't want to not have access to the ladies while stuck on a boat with dudes for six months. Yes, that really was my deciding factor as a horny 19 year old enlisting.

I was too lazy to take a new pic for you, bastards
Also, I didn't want to wear bell bottoms.

My point is, I am getting certified so I can start renting boats and maybe one day I can become a Dexter type serial killer. Only, I would take out old people who can't drive anymore and annoying frat boys who wear trucker hats and plaid shorts. It would be a civic duty of sorts.

*Disclaimer: Dear NSA, that thing about becoming a serial killer was totally in jest.

I just realized that the man with the face for radio looks a lot like Chris Pratt. And, holy shitballs, I just realized he is the first Chris Cross! (If I don't make the joke, some asshole named Jason will).

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