Saturday, February 14, 2015

Whenever I'm alone with you

Mommy, why did they shoot that man in Copenhagen?
I'm probably going to that special hell for how I plan on using the above sign from now on. 

Happy Inadequacy Day! You get to feel inadequate if you're alone today. You also get to feel inadequate if you don't buy the right shit today. And finally, you get to feel inadequate if your loser boyfriend/husband negates today because he is a whiny douchebag who doesn't do Hallmark Holidays.

Ha! Joke's on that fuckface! It's an American Greetings Card holiday!

Truth is, it's all I can do to not go wake her up and take her down to the beach and just... be. That's my idea of a perfect Valentine (or any other) day. But I will let her sleep.

Listen fellas, do the grand gesture crap today. We know today is no different to any other day to us, but it isn't about us. It's not even about her. It's about the time she didn't have you; this is our opportunity to remind her why her life is better with us than it ever was without us. I don't know why the fuck February 14th has to matter more than any other day of the year, but it does so don't be an asshole about it. She doesn't understand why you care so much about the Superb Owl when your shitty team isn't even playing in it, but she still makes it a fun day with (for) you, right? So let's do this for her!

Okay, I'm glad we had this talk guys. Team vagina romance on three, ready?

One

Two

Three

TEAM  VAGINA... er... Romance!