Thursday, February 5, 2015

Ain't got no quarrels with god

All I want is a bacon and egg burrito this morning. I earned it, dammit.

Electric stoves suck. All they do is smoke and cook unevenly. Oh, you dropped a bit of grease on the surface back in 1998? Lemme smoke that for you.

Fuck you, stove.

Did you know that Jesus doesn't give a shit who you vote for? It's true. All he ever said about politics is, give to Caesar what is Caesar's and quit being a bunch of whiney cunts about it. You can look it up.

Okay, so I paraphrased the cunty bit
I have two new windows. Last night we had a storm. One of the windows leaked. Fuck you, window.